Jackie I am so broken by what you shared here. .. I watched also your video ‘A voice crying in the wilderness’ and this… And I am so sad and afraid right now. I’ve been under great fear lately, and have no peace from God, I don’t want to loose Lord ever, people don’t love me, and my sins put me in terrible position. John 14:21, John 15:10 and Proverbs 28:1 convicts me a lot. I was strugling with lust and fornication and I didn’t put effor to seek the Lord with all my heart. And I’ve been suffering because of all this so much. I still love God and I want to know Him and be with Him forever. Nothing can replace His love. And no one is like Jesus. I want also others to be saved and spend eternity with Jesus. Yet I don’t have even testimony, I don’t know even how to share gospel, never done that, I only spoke about Jesusu for an hour once at work, because I was forced and it was very strong effect on everyone, all were sad and shocked, one even wanted to cry. And all that was erased and it turned even worse now people call me gay, whole world turned against me and hate me, I feel guilty too, I didn’t wanted to have anything with worldy women, and I wasn’t even prepared for relationship, because I really didn’t have relationship with God, never had as you do, and I want only Jesus right now. I had long history of sin, serving desires of my flesh, fornication, sinning on my body, I never had any relationships though, and sex, I like women, but I’m still afraid to sleep with women unless she would be wife, and how can I do anything when I don’t know Jesus? I couldn’t be husband or anything when I don’t know Jesus. I am too weak and I can’t do anything without Him. I am aware of the late hour in this time Jackie, it stirring so much in me, I am so full of fear at times, I lost peace, I am just crying for God’s love, and mercy, I am so desperate and afraid. You prayed for me once Jackie, when I saw another video from you when you said Jesus was weeping for me and that floored me.I saw you really know Jesus and it is so obvious. Now this video touched me so much again and I am guilty of all you said. But it’s not too late for me Jackie is it? I am still alive and I want only Jesus, I am so afraid that I missed so much time and won’t be enough left to get to know Him more.
I find myself in this video too, I claimed Jesus yet I sinned a lot and I don’t know Jesus personally. I don’t have what you have Jackie. I am so sad. And afraid. I believe in Jesus with whole heart, know a lot of the truth, but I don’t know Him, I repented and cried and begged Him yestreday to forgive me and to come in to my heart, to reveal Himself to me, to teach me all and lead me, to change me… To be my Saviour, I said mnay things. I cried today, and I cried again… I keep praying that He saves my soul and teach me all things, chnage me, clean my heart… I am so afraid that God would leave me alone. I don’t love this world, I don’t love even me, because I still get thoughts does God still loves me? Even demons give me bad dreams. I get attacked with thoughts and I know I am guilty. I don’t want to be without God, I want to love Him with my whole being… I just heard in a song that He is jealous about us, He loves us that much. Jackie I do Believe in Jesus, I am just so guilty of everything you mentioned in this videos, and I sinned so much. I am aware we are in last times, and I want so much to have what you have, to know my Father in Heaven as you do, have Jesus living in me. I’v ebeen asking myself was I really born again in spirit? I never stopped sinning. I didn’t even read Bible most of the time. But would I believe without the Holy Spirit? Jesus lives in you and you know Him. I just want to ask you Jackie, have you ever spoken with the gift of tongues which Holy Spirit gives? Now I know it is real, but we were made to live in personal relationship with our God. And you do. Please remeber in a prayer, only thing that keeps me going is that I believe Jesus still loves me although I hurt Him so much in past. I used too talk and say in bed that I love Him, and many times said how I love Him, and then just few hours later in the morning I would gave up in sin. At time I broke in cry and said to myself how sad and hurt must be God because everyone are so wicked around, even I who sinned. I imagined Him so sad and crying, sadness bigger than ours, because He is love and only one good, we don’t know good without God who is only one good, and we can’t be good without Him. I am so sad Jackie, because Jesus gave Himself for us, and I didn’t gave my life to Him in return, I claimed Him, but I was worse than others, because others lived in ignorance, and I didnt put whole effort and gave every area of my life to Him. I couldn’t stop sinning, and God left me in my sin, so now I found myself in this terrible situation, looking my whole life realising I don’t know Him, you do. I don’t know if I have Holy Spirit, I haven’t lived by Him, so from Bible, I see mostly fruits of flersh and not of Spirit, but I am readin Bible through John and on for the first time in years, never read whole new or old testament… Never really talked with Jesus unless I needed Him. God showed me reality now. I would do suicide not so long ago, I was so hurt, afraid and lonely. And I felt even God turned away from me. But I didn’t because I know Jesus lives and He is Lord. I believe Word of God with whole my heart although I don’t know most of it. And now I odn’t know how much time I have left. I still love Jesus Jackie, I don’t have people, but I want Him. Take this world, I don’t want it, but give me Jesus. I haven’t spent quality time with Him as you counseled me before. I will now. I am so afraid, I see signs, I’m so stirred, and my heart is beating so fast, like there so little time, and I don’t even know Jesus as I could, I claimed Him and hurt Him so much, I feel as biggest hypocrite of all, and my sins are so many and big, I sinned on my body. I was a slave to sin, and cried so much because Jesus words kept speaking in my mind. And now I am so afraid I could loose Him forever :*( I need His forgiveness. When some tells me God loves me still it keeps alive and going. I am alive and God still loves me. I want Him in me, in my heart, I want so much to be one with Him. I am so sorry for everything . And I am so very afraid, that I could loose Jesus forever. I want to know Him here if there is still enough time, and spend eternity with Him. I can’t even share Jesus with people ,because I don’t know Him. And I want to, I don’t want anyone to perish and be without God, I feel urgency in me and I know Jesus loves every soul. I can share Gospel, but what is Gospel without Love? Without Jesus. If I haven’t found your three videos I would be completely lost without God, I then realised it’s all about knowing Him. It’s all about Jesus Christ, He is the whole purpose of life, he is joy, he is peace, he is life, he is truth, He is just so wonderful, and everything I ever wanted. Someone to love me with perfect love. He made me. Can you please remember me in prayer one more time if Jesus leads you? I pray, I cry, I just feel so afraid and alone now, and I don’t want God be angry at me anymore, I admit all my guilt, I am afraid because my lips were flattering too, I closed my facebook for some time and want to spend more time, as much as I can with Jesus, I so wish to know Him as you do Jackie. I am sad, I am afraid very much, it’a all so real now, seems to be so little time now, I wish I could share God with whole world right now, in this end times. But I can give only what I have and there is so little right now. I keep praying to Jesus that He saves my soul, I’m running away from sin, I want to be faithful to Him, I want to love Him with my whole heart. I want to be obedient to Him, I want to know Him as you do, to feel His heart, and hear His voice, have His peace, and love in me, I want to do what he says and leads in this end times. I will be so alone for some time now, all the time inside, I’ll use the time to read His word and spend time with Him, I hope ther e will be enough time to get to know Him more and do something with Him, I don’t want to live for me, I want to die, and Jesus live in me.
I’m so glad I know you Jackie, you are true bride of Christ, there are really very few that know and seek the Lord right now, and I know you are true born again Believer. Everything you said in this video and other one hit me so hard, I had to bow down and was so sad. I don’t want to hurt Jesus ever again. I cry many times when I think what he did and what he went through for us. I cry really hard, and then think on His sadness, and I know He cries in this time too, I just cried so hard, because I was guillty, and I thought on His sadness and it breaks me down. I just want to know Jesus Jackie. I just need Him. And now I still get doubts and thoutghs that I’m not saved, that I don’t have Holy Spirit, and God is not with me and so on, and the fear is paralyzing me. I am thankful for every day God gives us now. I’m sorry for long post. I still belive God has called me. I invited Him so many times in prayer, and gave Him my heart and all…. And still sinned and didn’t took enough time for Him. I depened on His mercy and love. What gives me strentgh is belief that He still loves me. Everything turned against me and it felt as God did too, I lost His peace, and I am so sad and afraid. I don’t want Him angry. I still love God :*( I just don’t know Him that well. And I suffer without Him and His will. This video shaked me up, and I was already in fear. I need His peace. Only Jesus gives peace.
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